Raw & Real

Do you ever feel like you just need an escape?

An escape from your phone, the noise of the city, the social media, work (except I really do love my job), bad days, whatever that escape may be?!

I do! Sometimes life can definitely weigh on you. Trying to be the best employee, friend, girlfriend, daughter, & sister, and hopefully one day, a mommy!

I can't help but think that some days I've failed miserably. I'm not always my best. I have hard days, insecure days, sad days, happy days, angry days, lazy days, and don't give a flying F bomb days. I guess that's all apart of being human. Right?!

Something I have learned in my life is that you can never ever compare yourself to others. Compare yourself to the person you were yesterday.

Last year was a super rough year for me, starting the year off with losing my best friend, my granny Hackford, I miss hearing her voice. Her sweet, british accent was so comforting. We'd sit for hours and talk about everything. I especially won't ever forget our marathons of watching Golden Girls, The Nanny, and old Audrey Hepburn films. I take comfort in knowing she's by my side each day.
Then another person I adored dearly was taken from this earth. My Auntie Sharon. From a terrible, and rare Cancer. She was my biggest fan. Not to mention she left behind the most amazing kids out there. No 15 year old should go their life without their mommy.

Not too long after that, we recieved some news that our cousin was killed in a car wreck. He left behind some amazing, young, and handsome boys. Luckily they have a wonderful momma to take care of them.

After dealing with these deaths I felt lost, confused, and disoriented. I couldn't think straight, I was in my own world. My wheels were completely spinning and I had no idea how to control them. Novemeber of last year I was told I needed to have shoulder surgery. I had a torn labrum, which was a result of a car accident. I honestly didn't think it was going to be as bad as it was. "I'll go back to work on, Monday" I said. (little did I know what was ahead of me)

After surgery I was in the most pain I had ever experienced, my right arm was completely imobile. For 8 weeks I had to rely on other people to wash my hair, help with daily chores, help me get dressed, etc. I. Felt. Defeated! Luckily I am a lefty, and I spent the majority of my time, drawing and painting. It was the only thing that brought me peace.

After 8 very LONG weeks went by, I began feeling myself again. (slowly but surely)

I remember feeling sooo grateful to be able to lift my arm past my chest. I was grateful for the smallest little things. I never thought I'd ever be in a position where I couldn't do the things I love the most. Dancing, wake boarding, snow boarding, tubing, Yoga, basically anything adventurous. It taught me to never take anything for granted. I am lucky enough that my arm will heal. It will just never be the same.

Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for my health. I am a very lucky person.

All of these trials have taught me to never compare my trials to anyone else's. We are all faced with some sort of trial. The key is to stay strong, and positive! At my darkest days, I had to talk myself into just getting out of bed in the morning. Sometimes smiling, even if you don't want to, is the best thing you could ever do.

So that is what I choose to do, every single day! Even if I don't feel like smiling, I am going to. I can't control everything that happens to me in my life, but I can control my attitude. I'm not perfect. But every single day, I strive to be better than I was yesterday.

I kept my outfit super simple for this shoot. My shirt is from, H&M (surprise, surprise) H&M story. Long before H&M went viral, and the entire world knew about them, they were only in, New York. They didn't even have an online store at that time. When I lived in New Jersey, thats where we shopped. Now my secret is out. lol... (kidding)  Shorts, Target, Shoes... Well, funny story actually! My friend found them at Lagoon years ago, and they looked brand new. They didn't fit her, so she gave them to me! SCORE, for having big feet! lol
My bracelets are from,  Lu Lu Avenue. Earrings, Bohme, and sunnies.. My amazing photographer let me use hers, because I forgot mine. oopsi.

Thank you for taking time to read! Feel free to reach out to me if you're dealing with sad times. Sometimes it's nice just to vent to someone you don't know.

Happy Monday! Xx, Meg ;)